They’re billing Rashad Evans as “Sugar” Rashad Evans now. They must be kidding. With all due respect to Evans–who’s a solid pro–you don’t roll with the sobriquet “Sugar” unless you are a seriously bad man. Consider the company you’re in–”Sugar” Shane Mosely. “Sugar” Ray Leonard. Oh, and arguably the best ‘pound for pound’ fighter to ever walk the face of the earth, “Sugar” Ray Robinson. Again, no disrepect to Rashad Evans but wins over Stephan Bonnar and Michael Bisping and a draw against Tito Ortiz doesn’t put you in that league.

Gleason Tibeau rolls to the ring to about as good of a ring entrance song as you’ll find “Iron Man” by Black Sabbath. Some of us still look to the back of the arena expecting to see “Precious” Paul Ellering leading the Road Warriors to the ring when we hear that most excellent song. You kids out there who only know Animal and Hawk as the cartoon characters that Vince McMahon made them late in their career do a little searching around on YouTube. At one point they were about the baddest dudes in the world….

Stevenson comes to the cage next–he seems to be the crowd favorite. That’s “Who Do You Want To Be Today” but it doesn’t sound like the Oingo Boingo original–then again its hard to hear the audio. Has someone else covered the song? We’ll get the crack SAVAGE SCIENCE research staff on this immediately….

ROUND ONE

Fight underway and as of yet we haven’t located a cover version of ‘Who Do You Want to Be’. Tibeau’s leg kick the first blow of the fight but Joe Daddy lands a right hand that partially knocks Tibeau down, though he stumbles as much as he’s hert. Tibeau now back to his feet and has Joe Daddy against the cage. Stevenson reverses the position, but then Tibeau reverses the reversal. Tibeau must have been watching Road Warriors DVD’s as he’s got a poor man’s version of Animal’s mohawk. Hopefully he doesn’t try to put Joe Daddy on his shoulders to set up “The Doomsday Device”. Joe Daddy gets the takedown but he’s having trouble passing. Tibeau trying to set up an omoplata but he can’t finish the hold. He’s got his legs locked around Joe Daddy’s shoulder properly but he’s having trouble getting the positioning he wants to make it hurt bad enough for a submission. To quote Joe Rogan at this point its just “real uncomfortable”. Bloodthirsty meth addicts upset, not apparently realizing that Tibeau has a submission hold on Joe Daddy. Joe Daddy is going to sit there like he’s waiting for a bus as the round draws to a close. Pretty even round until the omoplata, but that’ll give Tibeau the round on the SAVSCI card. 10-9 Tibeau…

ROUND TWO:

Joe Daddy grinning in his corner, no doubt pleased with himself that he sat through the omoplata. BJ Penn is shown and for some reason the crowd cheers like Elvis has just entered the building. Why the crowd boos Koscheck and shows love to BJ Penn is one of the great mysteries of life. Tibeau takes Stevenson down for a moment, he gets back up but Stevenson runs right into another takedown. Side control for Tibeau who then passes guard and gets a top mount like he’s fighting a three year old. Joe Daddy showing brutal technique somehow rolls out of it and we’re back to standup. 2 minutes left in the round and Stevenson runs right into another nasty takedown but somehow Joe Daddy grabs a guillotine and taps Tibeau out. Go figure…

JOE DADDY STEVENSON WINS BY TAPOUT (GUILLOTINE CHOKE)

Famous former heroin addict Anthony Keidis is shown in the audience…..Patrick Cote vs. Ricardo Almeida is up next. They’ll likely show the Gabriel Gonzaga fight from the prelims before the main event.